I'm a burden that I don't want to inflict on anyone.

I hope this is no longer a frequent thought of yours because you are nothing short of amazing and the thoughts you introduce to others are fascinating and interesting, a great reflection of who you are.

And on a lighter note, you totally pulled worser off. It makes me think of the book I'm reading where this one character, Amy's grandfather Pappy plays with her and Michael in Scrabble, and the only reason anyone should play that game is to make up words, and I don't know, it seemed sweet somehow, and very true, because what's a game if you can't be silly and enjoy yourself? *sounds like a loser, I know*

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I'm sorry, but I just can't see Bill Nye the Science Guy having sex. I think he reproduces by budding.

hey, i get it. i understand how it feels to just not fit in with others.

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He envisioned a steamer so grand in scale, and so luxurious in its appointments that its supremacy would never be challenged. And here she is, willed into solid reality.
-Thomas Andrews, Titanic (1997)

I think sometimes we all need a chance to let the darkness soothe us for awhile, especially us weird introverts. There is something comforting in it, and something healthy too, I think, as long as, after having rested in the shadows and germinated, we allow ourselves to rise back to the surface and blossom, using what we've learned there to create.

You're good at that, at turning pain into beauty. It's a rare gift.

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Sine aliquid dementia, nullus Phoebus.

You're good at that, at turning pain into beauty. It's a rare gift.

I barely expected anyone to identify with this. I've never shared it for very good reasons, but that comment just blew me away. I mean that. Thank you.

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はじめまして! _{Artist, Writer/Poet, Photographer, traditional medium mostly, anime, sci-fi and the bizarre.}

Oh, it comes and goes. I can't always predict it. Although I'm not manic depressive or bi-polar, I should probably clarify that. I don't mind however if someone with those conditions or others can identify.

What you say is the thoughtful sort of thing you so often take the time to say. And I believe it. ~Piscaria above said something similar. Every one of someone like this makes the oblivion easier to resist. I'd never want you to really understand it.

How did the dictionary put it? Ah yes, "unconventional" - that's what "worser" was. Suits.

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はじめまして! _{Artist, Writer/Poet, Photographer, traditional medium mostly, anime, sci-fi and the bizarre.}

I was going to answer this, but I've decided not to, because you'll think I'm throwing something in your face instead of recognizing that and I speak with brutal honesty, not personal bias.

Yes, I’ve been censoring myself with you. I write an answer and click close on Word and never send it. I should just stop looking. I’ve been trying.

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Wonka Love!

Ah, but you just did answer it.

I did not really expect anyone to like or understand this, I barely do, it simply is and it was something I felt like exposing that day, while going through old journal entries. It's an element of myself - dark side of the moon; yin and yang. My soul is a mixture of mercury and lead. Art is a good way to express such difficult things.

If you are 'brutally honest' with others then you must allow them to be 'brutally honest' with you, that's a two-edged sword, therefor you're hesitation may be warranted. Think how the same words you would express would affect you, in fact, consider how they apply to you. If you're having a difficult day, this is not the time or place to air that please (I would say that to anyone). However, if I've moved someone thusly, I suppose that's a good sign. Art should move people, sometimes that is in ways they don't like.

There is a section of writing before this and a chunk afterward, this is only a excerpt, a sliver - this specific incident crept up on me at school earlier this year. It used to happen at workplaces too. There is...so much inside me that I am made to feel doesn't belong or is strange. Look what a mere sliver can trigger. This is why it is usually hidden, but I bore of hiding. This was a...step of sorts. Yeah, I just wanted to do this. Although...it's not really a big deal either. Just words. Thoughts. Meaningless if believed so.

Sensitive people absorb, for artists it is essential but dangerous. You understand this. I have had a great deal of negativity thrown at me, a back log, I have watched repeatedly while things I loved were twisted into barbed wire and shoved into me. I learned to like the wire, I see that I am warped now. With each cut, I bleed and there is less of what there was when I was innocent. People, places, things...talents. I still struggle to hold on to the innocence. That is apparent in my personality too. I see it.

Further, my own body betrays me, or doesn't, if I believe that it is an extension of me. I find mind and spirit. You may understand this too. And I've exposed my struggles to resolve my conflicts with humanity by going back to my very roots, my family. It's why in a world of inflated independence, I did that. I have the strongest sense of déjà vu at the moment.

This statement is an abstraction of being human, it is when a compassionate person has been pushed too far - it is when I can't turn my extra abilities off anymore or they've been repressed or wounded too much. My reaction may be unique, programmed into my psyche, but the feeling in general I think is not.

There is more I can't explain, that's all I can say for now. Treasures have curses, curses have treasures. Siamese twins. Infinity.

Or maybe I'm full of a lot of bullshit. I'd love that actually. I tell myself that all the time.
_______________

No, I don't recommend that other's look/listen at this view. Turn away, I think that's the natural reaction.

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はじめまして! _{Artist, Writer/Poet, Photographer, traditional medium mostly, anime, sci-fi and the bizarre.}

Actually I do understand you on many levels.

Opps, sorry, I wasn't supposed to answer, was I?

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Wonka Love!

But that's a good answer, one I appreciate receiving, especially at the moment. Thank you.

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はじめまして! _{Artist, Writer/Poet, Photographer, traditional medium mostly, anime, sci-fi and the bizarre.}