The title is exactly what I wrote once, many years ago, upon a mirror in my home. It stayed there a while. Id forgotten that Id done so and it didnt matter much to me anyway, such a concrete fact of life I saw that statement.
Embarrassment, reflection, only came after my mother had apparently found the words. I hadnt meant for anyone to. Shed cleaned the large glass off and replaced it with this simple note in marker. Nothing more complex or fanciful needed to be said.
Perhaps this really isnt art. To me, it is.
These emotions are not unique, though not understood by those whove never felt such extended and deep self-loathing; whove never believed that God was punishing them for anything. This is what I learned, what I say to those who have the misfortune of understanding:
You do not wish to die.
You wish to live.
It is in the absence of life, which you feel so much pain.
God was not punishing me. I was doing that. God was in the moment that someone who loved me saw a bleeding wound and placed a band-aid upon it, rather than another scratch.
I struggle even still.
Maybe one day. Maybe one day.
I share this in part because of a recent illustration by =MaRaMa-TSG which I colored, CatCF: R-E-F-L-E-C-T, colored. I felt if that artist could be brave enough to expose that, then I could this. I have only ever shared this story with one other person and now they can see the tangible form.
That is not all I have to say on the topic however, just...all I have to say at this time.
I think it's beautiful! A mother's love in general is such a beautiful/unique kind of love As for life, I believe that life should be embraced and lived to the fullest every day
Wow... how is it that, every time you share your shards of life with us, you do it with so much subtlety that I'm always dumbstruck and direly in need of psychedelic/calm music? This is one of those simple things that, after some reflection, you can either cast away as insignificant or hold dear. I've come to understand something like what you were describing; except, I never believed what you believed about being punished - it was more of a strange solitude that I went through, where love seemed uninteresting. And, it's a very nice way of putting it: "It is in the absence of life, which you feel so much pain." Once again, nailing my thoughts with words. Not many pieces really speak as much as this one: it just shows you don't have to be an artist to convey so much feeling.
--
~Ledroit~
"~The tattooed skeletons are those authors who wish to replace what flesh they lack with artificial colours~"
i myself have experienced those kinds of feelings-more often than i'd like to admit.
--
He envisioned a steamer so grand in scale, and so luxurious in its appointments that its supremacy would never be challenged. And here she is, willed into solid reality. -Thomas Andrews, Titanic (1997)
I've had this experience but from spoken words instead of written. Yet I felt the same you probably did just by seeing it and imagining it.(reason I couldn't write earlier) It's this "simple" things that make me regain control of my emotions when I'm horribly depressed. I have a marker board full of quotes and some have been told to me while I've been feeling down by people I care about. My grandpa, my former bf, Ray...
The one written one I have was a drawing I did of Ray hugging me and below it he wrote "I'll always be there for you...always."
It's why now, every time I get depressed I start thinking of those words and the hugs I've gotten or the kisses and anything my mind has recorded that's comforting and even while I cry I start smiling and often end up thinking. "You're fine, Mara. You're fine." Told by you.
Even if mom and I clash often and are at odds (Things have been calm lately) she has told me some very important words.
And that's how I learned, that despite all the pain and hurt I might feel often, there's still the simple things that make all the pain be worth it. And I focus on that.
-- SPECIAL PETITION: Please help my ill friend - [link]
I'LL DRAW FOR YOU IF YOU DO! Instead of commissions I'll ask for a donation of a minimun of $5 and I will draw anything you want!
We want to know what love means to you!
Get your creative juices flowing and design a movie poster for "Paper Heart" that focuses on the theme "What Does Love Mean to Me?".
Below we have compiled a list of 101 tips to help you improve your photography. You may know some of them already but were confident that you'll find at least a few gems in there! Go get yourself a cup of coffee and make sure you are sitting comfortably!
This is a collection of deviations showing real Pinups in the classic Retro poses from various Artists. For the 4rd time I present a variation of Vintage Pinup Queens as well as fresh modern Pinup art. If you love Polkadots, seamed Nylons, Plateau-Heels and and Miles-long-legs you should not miss this collection.
Inspired by Trudi Canavan's "The Black Magician Trilogy" =liam-stock and =Staub-und-Schatten produced stock images with the theme "Black Magic" for you to bring fantasy and magic to life.
When it comes to community spirit, `Rushy is a shining example. From participating in devmeets, to providing positive encouragement to other artists, `Rushy can always be found demonstrating what it really takes to be a true deviant. It's without any hesitation that we are delighted to award the Deviousness Award for July 2009 to `RushyRead More
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Loves always enough to bring people to tears though.
Its how it should be.
--
**~~ Radioactive Bionic Bunny Boi~~**
But I really do actually understand how you feel. <3
A mother's love in general is such a beautiful/unique kind of love
As for life, I believe that life should be embraced and lived to the fullest every day
--
--
I will carve your heart out with a spork.
--
There's a screw loose somewhere. There's a leak in the tank.
Once again, nailing my thoughts with words.
--
~Ledroit~
"~The tattooed skeletons are those authors who wish to replace what flesh they lack with artificial colours~"
--
SPECIAL PETITION: Please help my ill friend - [link]
I'LL DRAW FOR YOU IF YOU DO! Instead of commissions I'll ask for a donation of a minimun of $5 and I will draw anything you want!
i myself have experienced those kinds of feelings-more often than i'd like to admit.
--
He envisioned a steamer so grand in scale, and so luxurious in its appointments that its supremacy would never be challenged. And here she is, willed into solid reality.
-Thomas Andrews, Titanic (1997)
Thank you
--
I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior.If you do too and aren't scared to admit it, then copy & paste this in your signature. ^w^
The one written one I have was a drawing I did of Ray hugging me and below it he wrote "I'll always be there for you...always."
It's why now, every time I get depressed I start thinking of those words and the hugs I've gotten or the kisses and anything my mind has recorded that's comforting and even while I cry I start smiling and often end up thinking. "You're fine, Mara. You're fine." Told by you.
Even if mom and I clash often and are at odds (Things have been calm lately) she has told me some very important words.
And that's how I learned, that despite all the pain and hurt I might feel often, there's still the simple things that make all the pain be worth it. And I focus on that.
--
SPECIAL PETITION: Please help my ill friend - [link]
I'LL DRAW FOR YOU IF YOU DO! Instead of commissions I'll ask for a donation of a minimun of $5 and I will draw anything you want!
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