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Artist's Comments
The title is exactly what I wrote once, many years ago, upon a mirror in my home. It stayed there a while. Id forgotten that Id done so and it didnt matter much to me anyway, such a concrete fact of life I saw that statement.
Embarrassment, reflection, only came after my mother had apparently found the words. I hadnt meant for anyone to. Shed cleaned the large glass off and replaced it with this simple note in marker. Nothing more complex or fanciful needed to be said. Perhaps this really isnt art. To me, it is. These emotions are not unique, though not understood by those whove never felt such extended and deep self-loathing; whove never believed that God was punishing them for anything. This is what I learned, what I say to those who have the misfortune of understanding: You do not wish to die. You wish to live. It is in the absence of life, which you feel so much pain. God was not punishing me. I was doing that. God was in the moment that someone who loved me saw a bleeding wound and placed a band-aid upon it, rather than another scratch. I struggle even still. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. I share this in part because of a recent illustration by =MaRaMa-TSG which I colored, CatCF: R-E-F-L-E-C-T, colored. I felt if that artist could be brave enough to expose that, then I could this. I have only ever shared this story with one other person and now they can see the tangible form. That is not all I have to say on the topic however, just...all I have to say at this time. GALLERIES Stock | Line-Art | Fan Art | Burton Films | Sailor Moon | Convention Work | Pretty Boys | Hot Chicks | Original Works | Photography | Writing |
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April 12, 2008
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Comments
Loves always enough to bring people to tears though.
Its how it should be.
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**~~ Radioactive Bionic Bunny Boi~~**
But I really do actually understand how you feel. <3
A mother's love in general is such a beautiful/unique kind of love
As for life, I believe that life should be embraced and lived to the fullest every day
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I will carve your heart out with a spork.
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There's a screw loose somewhere. There's a leak in the tank.
Once again, nailing my thoughts with words.
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~Ledroit~
"~The tattooed skeletons are those authors who wish to replace what flesh they lack with artificial colours~"
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SPECIAL PETITION: Please help my ill friend - [link]
I'LL DRAW FOR YOU IF YOU DO! Instead of commissions I'll ask for a donation of a minimun of $5 and I will draw anything you want!
i myself have experienced those kinds of feelings-more often than i'd like to admit.
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He envisioned a steamer so grand in scale, and so luxurious in its appointments that its supremacy would never be challenged. And here she is, willed into solid reality.
-Thomas Andrews, Titanic (1997)
Thank you
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I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior.If you do too and aren't scared to admit it, then copy & paste this in your signature. ^w^
The one written one I have was a drawing I did of Ray hugging me and below it he wrote "I'll always be there for you...always."
It's why now, every time I get depressed I start thinking of those words and the hugs I've gotten or the kisses and anything my mind has recorded that's comforting and even while I cry I start smiling and often end up thinking. "You're fine, Mara. You're fine." Told by you.
Even if mom and I clash often and are at odds (Things have been calm lately) she has told me some very important words.
And that's how I learned, that despite all the pain and hurt I might feel often, there's still the simple things that make all the pain be worth it. And I focus on that.
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SPECIAL PETITION: Please help my ill friend - [link]
I'LL DRAW FOR YOU IF YOU DO! Instead of commissions I'll ask for a donation of a minimun of $5 and I will draw anything you want!
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